After months of quietly building behind the scenes, I am excited to introduce my newest venture: SharpFlush Solutions. The company has exited stealth with what industry analysts are calling a “nugget-sized” funding round and a bold mission to take on one of the most overlooked challenges in modern infrastructure: plumbing and plumbing accessories.
I’ve spent years helping some of the world’s largest companies manage digital logs. At Cribl, we build tools to help teams take control of their data pipelines. But during a recent home improvement project, I ran into a very different kind of log problem. One that does not get nearly enough attention.
All I wanted to do was install a bidet. A couple of turns with a wrench later, I was knee-deep in flow and routing issues. That is when it hit me.
There are no modern tools for plumbing. No visibility. No control. No way to optimize for performance. Just raw, unstructured chaos. I knew there had to be a better way. When I see problems, my entrepreneurial mindset goes to work, and that is how my new venture was born!
The SharpFlush private beta has already won over fans from some of the biggest names in enterprise restroom management.
Introducing FlushCloudIQ
As part of its initial launch, SharpFlush Solutions is unveiling its flagship log platform, FlushCloudIQ, an intelligent edge device designed to sit between your toilet and your main sewer line. FlushCloudIQ uses patented FlowSense technology to detect irregular flow patterns, monitor log frequency, and anonymize waste data before it can be analyzed by third parties.
I take privacy seriously. What happens in the bowl should stay in the bowl
Early beta testers say FlushCloudIQ has helped reduce flush latency by more than 90 percent. An upcoming Pro version will feature end to end encryption, support for structured and unstructured waste, and native integration with popular smart home assistants.
“Before SharpFlush’s products, I was dealing with serious overflow issues in my bathroom pipeline. No matter what I tried, the logs just wouldn’t flow. Then I found SharpFlush and FlushCloudIQ. Within minutes of install, I saw throughput like never before. It changed everything.”
— Jordan M., VP of Infrastructure at a Fire Cracker Chili Dogs
I’m also working on a pipeline aware toilet paper recommendation engine powered by a proprietary LLM (large log model). You should not be using triple ply in a 60 year old plumbing stack. FlushCloudIQ will flag that instantly.
Cribl and SharpFlush
While SharpFlush Solutions may seem like a departure from my work at Cribl, the two companies share a common foundation: solving log flow challenges at scale. Cribl focuses on digital infrastructure, giving IT and security teams control over their digital logs. SharpFlush brings that same mindset to the bathroom.
There’s a surprising amount of overlap. At Cribl, we help customers route, filter, and enrich logs. At SharpFlush, I’m doing the exact same thing. Just with a different kind of output.
Cribl employees were among the first to test early prototypes of FlushCloudIQ during internal hackathons and offsites. While participation was optional, feedback was… immediate.
“There were some rough builds early on,” said Abby Strong, Cribl CMO. “But the team pushed through. Now it’s something I would actually install in my house. Probably.”
I remain fully committed to my role as CEO at Cribl. SharpFlush is a side venture that operates independently, with a dedicated team focused on developing next generation plumbing technology solutions. The companies do not share any infrastructure, data, or restroom facilities.
Cribl’s Ian the Goat will join SharpFlush as a strategic advisor, focusing primarily on snack room supplies and morale. Instead of the traditional venture capitalist route that I took with Cribl, I am launching a Kickstarter campaign to fund the production version of CloudFlushIQ. I’d love to have you back it so we can flush it! When you back the project, please be aware that our product will only be available on April 1st of each year to minimize waste.
